I have witnessed ladies making the same mistakes, I have also been a victim. It is certain that the major things ladies ought to know, they don’t know and it often leads to imbalance in their relationships.
NELLY IJEOMA IWUOHA
Before highlighting the common mistakes, let’s check out some very important things to know or look out for before venturing into a relationship.
Relationship is of different types but we will be talking majorly on dating. Dating and relationship are basically the same, it is a official outing. Since it is official, there should be an agreement between those involved concerning their do’s and donts.
The reason why most relationships don’t last long is because of silly mistakes made or because of ignorance from either sides.
Before going into a relationship, there should be a concrete reason. Make sure also that u are seeing a bright future with your partner and ur dream, vision and aspiration tallies. Never go into a relationship with someone whose attitude you can’t tolerate because you will only regret at the end of the day.
Below are the common mistakes ladies make in their relationship.
GETTING UNNECESSARILY JEALOUS
Before going into a relationship with someone, try understanding the person. Know his weakness and his strength as this will enable you overcome some certain challenges in your relationship. Getting unnecessarily jealous in a relationship can make your guy sometimes feel that you are immature. It makes your guy want to go out in search of another lady who will be able to accept him for who he is. What binds every relationship is ‘trust’, but getting unnecessarily jealous can make him feel you don’t trust him and he can begin to lose feeling for you.
DEPENDING ON YOUR MAN FOR EVERYTHING
Men love women who are hardworking, ready to assist when situation gets tough and independent. Your guy begins to lose interest in you the moment he discovers you are a liability to him as no man will cherish a woman who is not creative. Though, some guys prefer their woman to depend on them with the idea that if their woman goes out to work, she might get involved in promiscuous acts, but I can tell you, it won’t last long because no man will be able to carry that burden.
Even if your guy wants you to always depend on him for everything, try not to depend on him totally. This will make him respect you. But if you are overly dependent, you will be doing more harm than good to your relationship. Your man could decide to test your capability but might soon start running impatient if there is no improvement. You have to be careful not to ruin your relationship in a bid to build it.
NOT CARING FOR YOURSELF
Most ladies begin to care less about themselves when they believe they have won the guy totally to themselves. The question now is ‘CAN YOU TOTALLY WIN A GUYS HEART?’ The answer is ‘NO’ because if you begin to have flaws that cannot be managed, there are a lot of ladies out there waiting to take your position and do better than you. There is this saying that ‘when a man marries a woman, there are ten other women better than her that he could still get married to’ and vice-versa.
Every guy loves their woman to be outstanding. If you as a lady begin to look less attractive by wearing bogus clothes, using your underwear more than once, bathing thrice a week, leaving your hair to smell, not shaving the hair on your private part and under your armpit, you are making a very big mistake. It could be your cleanliness that attracted him to you but when you begin to live below standard, you are indirectly telling him that he deserves better.
NOT APPRECIATING HIM
When you don’t appreciate him, you are indirectly telling him that he is incapable or he is not man enough to cater for you. This is the greatest insult you can give a man. If he is the type that works under somebody, you will just be wearing him out by nagging him when he returns after all the stress at work during the day. No matter how little what he is able to provide, try appreciating him by telling him how much he means to you and how you would love to spend your entire life with him.
Tell him he is the best even if he’s not. Try writing lovely and sweet things about him in small papers and spread them around the house, make sure you put them in places where he can easily see them when he returns from work. It has always worked for me and I’m hoping it works for you also. Try cooking his favourite meal before he returns from work and when he returns from work, while he is eating, tell him how perfect you are together and how much you adore, cherish and value him. Make him know you are so proud of him even if you are not.
PUSHING TO FAST
This is another mistake ladies make in their relationship. They always want to be around their lover most especially when the relationship is new, they force it. This is wrong because when you act in this manner, your guy gets a wrong impression about you. Nigerians believe that it is the man that should go after the woman and not the other way round. They say you should behave like you don’t care about him and make him hunger for you, then he will value you. That’s not true, you will only be pushing him away by doing that, but don’t force it, don’t be loose, express yourself freely but not to the extent of losing your integrity. Be yourself!
Understand him, know when he is not in the mood to talk and don’t force him to talk. Know when he wants to be alone, give him space but be there when he needs a shoulder to lean on, when he needs someone talk to, when he is depressed. Know how to enkindle in him the fire of your love and he would respect you for that.