“OH! Are you seriously married with kids?”. “excuse me, is it true that you’re married with kids? really?”
“sorry, I heard you have kids, can I see their pictures?”
These exclamations and more I hear regularly, and now I’m so used to it that I even smile some off, instead of trying to explain the whole issue over again that yes indeed I’m married and I have two kids.
Although, the idea of a married lady with kids is not an entirely strange thing on campus. However, when the lady involved actually looks younger than expected, people tend to disbelieve except they see something to really convince them otherwise. I’ve had similar cases over the years, from my days as a National Diploma undergraduate and also presently.
Such instances are however not limited to academics alone, even the working-mothers find themselves in such situations, and it gets more awkward when people of the opposite sex starts seeing you as someone they can ask out, either due to their ignorance of one’s status or simply because they’re hopeful in whatever mission they bear in mind.
Now I tell myself, they would always be there, guys would always see girls and would always like the ones they want to like, and vice versa. But if you’re sure of what you’re really in school for, and you know that you truly want to succeed, you would not get carried away by those things.
Also, I never stopped reiterating it to myself and to any lady I deem it fit to advice, single or married, that the simple ways to cope with these guys include; firstly, get your focus right, then accept compliments politely but do not let it get into your head, be polite but strict in turning down offers you’re not interested in, create an uncompromising standard and let your values be known. Lastly, if you find out that you’ve erred in one way or the other, don’t waste time to brood, rather, return back to your point of focus and don’t let yourself get lost again.
In addition to the above-mentioned the lady need to let her partner have a remarkable level of trust in her, as that goes a long way to ensure that she’s not misunderstood and her relationship is safe.
Amidst all of these, I miss my kids, as I didn’t get to see them last weekend. I hope to see them this weekend, counting the seconds until then however.
Thanks for reading this episode of the journal. I hope you found it interesting.
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